When experiencing a deeply challenging time period, it is common to want to check out, shut off from the world, numb or escape, but the feelings, issues, or problems still eventually rise to the surface and my friend's voice comes blasting through when I try to remember that I can do hard things.
This may look like confronting an issue or making choices to take care of ourselves, engage in community, whatever it is for each of us.
Maybe it is not the easiest choice but a choice after all that moves us forward.
So my prayer tonight is to keep being able to do hard things, balanced with soul rest.
I pray that for you, too, tonight, friends.
I keep finding that one way out of the rut of my heartache is prayer, even when I don't want to pray, or when I find myself hurting, or lost for words, or feeling stuck.
Writing is this for me, too. Writing as a prayer. Writing as at least a way through my stuck-ness, a way to be totally honest, when regular life and small talk feels fake, and something feels so unnatural lately. There is an uneasiness I am not used to, like my insides could burst out and be exposed at any moment.
If you need to express yourself (and who doesn't?), what helps you do that? I've been so grateful for words during this season and places that encourage creative expression, freedom with your voice, and vehicles for writing and wordplay and storytelling.
I'm not sure why I feel like I will cry when I pray lately but that's a thing. I want to cure it all through laughter and comedic words but sometimes the only way out is through so I embrace the cry-pray, cry-pray pattern and when I have more days when I feel so free and good, it's wonderful, and I think the grief and stress is all gone, but then it's not.
I tell myself what I know is true: it won't always be this way. Still, I don't want to store up my living for another day. As hard as it is to do hard things, I remind myself that whatever choice lies in front of me that I need to do to keep trying to live well, that's what I've got to do. It's amazing how a mind and a heart need those small reminders. Take care of yourself. Take care of your heart. Give yourself time, grace, space.
You can do hard things. I can do hard things. Let's cheer each other on...