The coffees keep coming

For those of you following this coffee saga, you know that I left off meeting my neighbor, a stranger, who became a coffee turned friend on the spot. That doesn't always happen, but it did in that instance, and we just realized this past weekend that we have only known each other a couple of months.

Sometimes my coffees are short and some evolve, but they keep changing me along the way, and I keep learning about people. And possibly about the point of this book. I think that's evolving, too.

I wanted to have a clear picture but like these unplanned adventures with the coffees, sometimes all you get is a foggy outline. 

I met an older man Steven today at a coffee shop. He's a writer slash life coach slash personal trainer. He told me if you come to him for personal training you might shed a few tears first because you have to get down to the whole mind/body/spirit thing. Pretty serious stuff.

I'm fairly certain he overheard the whole phone call I was on because he made some comment afterwards. Then he went on to talk with me about his writing and how he liked to be observant and talk to people randomly. Hmm, sounded familiar.

Talking with him was a little bit like looking into a mirror because he said he can pick up on conversations and things happening all around him, and it just all gets absorbed and then accounted for in writing at some point. Interesting. When I'm paying attention and able to see the world through eyes like that, I do the same thing. I used to think I was Harriet the Spy when I was younger.

Experiencing coffees doesn't have to look like busy, busy places and chatty people. Also, today, I went to a corner seat away from the hustle and read a book (I went a lot of places today). Sometimes, even then, you meet Lynn, who was in a terrible car wreck because she was hit as a pedestrian, but is doing better despite brain trauma. I didn't expect to learn anything when I sat down. I thought I needed time to be still. But, I am learning to be present with what each moment asks, whether it's quietness away from the crowd or taking a moment to listen.

I have a bit of flexibility with my time at the moment, and you'd think that would create in me a drive to seek people out. Actually, there's been people everywhere in this season and it's been a time of change so I haven't thought about the people of 87 Coffees that much. But.They.Won't.Be.Stopped. They keep happening.

Steven asked me how I became the person behind 87 Coffees. What made me want to write about that. That is a good question! See what I mean about looking into a mirror. That's something I would wonder about to someone else.

I guess as the picture gets clearer, I start to see the person God made me to be, just like when I meet other people, I can see it in them. I love people and I would have these unplanned adventures all the time if I could. Perhaps as the story unfolds, I'll understand things more, but for now I'm okay not knowing the why, just that I enjoy it and I hope the others do, too.

Imaginary coffee -- and a break for the magic hula hoop

I would love to tell you all that there have been lots of scribbles that just didn't make print in the blank space of time between the last post and this one, but sadly that is not the case. I've been writing more lately with notes on my phone (Is that even writing? There are words so I hope so.)

I take my notebook with me everywhere. I took it with me on a walk/ sit tonight when I went to one of our lakes but my pen didn't work. I thought about asking the fisherman for a pen because he was the only other person in sight but he looked so content so I didn't think he needed to be bothered.

There have been so many coffees, so many adventures lately, and for the moment, it's okay if there's not. It's okay for quiet and trees and water and ducks and no pens for writing and spending time seeing what's there. Because when I think nothing is happening or when I'm afraid I'll miss something, I'm yet again reminded moments are important in and of themselves. I don't always have to document all the things.

Why is this the thing I keep coming back to in my journey, even though I have dozens and dozens of stories to tell you?

I work in counseling, where the rule we live by is if you don't document it, it didn't happen. It's so true and yet so untrue.  These things we document, they did happen, of course, but no one else knows about them yet, I guess, and you can't prove them if you don't make notes. Document, document, document. That's what we learn along the way. Write it down.

Mix that with an already writer who likes to write things down anyway and this project should be easy-peasy. Just document all the fun, adventurous, out-of-the-ordinary, DAILY encounters, and your book will be written.

Why is it not that simple?

Because it's not about pounding out words just because.

I mean it is but it isn't.

Things don't have to be that complex, but when you're writing about people, I find they are sometimes. Interactions are organic, which is a beautiful thing, and life is sweet that way.

Maybe though, I am left wondering how to do all of them justice in this way.

I will try.

When I was starting this project, I skyped with Amy and she asked me about the process and the purpose of the story as a whole, and maybe this is part of it.

All we can do is try to put into words what we experience in life, knowing it's never quite the same the second or third or fourth time around.

Stories are important though. They can be a bridge from who we are to others and perhaps we all can remember the truth of our lives a little better that way.

Just like the pictures above that capture the moment from tonight, these words are the best I have to record what I've seen, who I've met.

~~~~~

My new neighbor has been a recent and surprising coffee! I surprised myself because normally I am open but I am more open with either strangers or people I know really well, not the in-between for some reason. The in-between, the daily-ness of knowing people can be hard, because you have to let them in.

I kind of realized right away my new neighbor would be one of those people. The moment I met her we had more than just a surface level conversation and I told her we ought to sit down and chat sometime. So she sat down right then and there on the stairs and said "why not now?"

Now is as good a time as any for coffee.

She named it, too.

We told her son that's what we were having when he came by, a teenager who was looking at two grown women on a stoop pretending to have coffee (I rarely ACTUALLY have coffee in these adventures).

It's an easy way to get to know someone, a shared love for fake, imaginary coffee.

That was last week. We've talked several times since then and we hope to walk sometime soon. She told me tonight it's so great having a neighbor who is a 'social worker' because apparently it is nice for talking and also entertaining, as I came home tonight with my magic hula hoop*. She liked that. Everyone needs a little fun in their lives. She said she's sure I'll be hula hooping it up on the grass before too long. Truth.

Neighbors are fun. They make wonderful coffee adventures.


*magic hula hoops are hula hoops that shake inside and where you can actually hula hoop for long periods of time. It's totally magic, but more on this later...

What I'm learning -- the uncoffee edition

I'm sorry, wonderful coffee friends, you're not forever forgotten. I'm postponing talking about our meetings for now because I was starting to think I had forgotten what it was to write just to write, without an agenda. I want to get 87 coffees done, but I also know this project needs me creative and feeling alive with the work. I love writing and miss it. I've been knee deep in other work for awhile and I wanted to get back to the basics, so I'm sharing some things I learned in April here on this blog for a change. Don't forget to link up with Emily to join in the fun.

Here are 5 (hey 5 is better than none) things I came up with that I've learned or paid attention to recently:

1. I've been taking a class on crisis management, and I am once again reminded how much the C word is overused.

I mean, I'm having a writing crisis. I mean, I had to say it because everyone else is using it...

Note to self: there are so many movies with 'crisis' in them. You may never look at another movie the same.

2. My house might mimic the state of my brain at the current moment; if there's lots going on and clutter from work and school and life, then perhaps some sense of balance is needed (ie: writing?). It gets better but it's still a constant process of cleaning up after myself. I haven't found any keys in the freezer yet so we're good.

3. I CAN return library books on time.

This is such a big deal. I just want to leave it at that with no further explanation.

But, I'll just say this. I have a terrible track record of returning books. I finally returned a book to my friend who went to  live in Mexico but she asked me specifically (from Mexico) for the book back. I gave it back and she was happy! It was like she got a present, only not really because I held her book hostage (unintentionally of course) for a few months. And apparently while she was overseas, people there asked her all about the book and had she read it or did she own it. I am not sure if there was a section in the book about lending people your stuff, but the good news is, she's still a good friend.

4. Little babies know how to swipe phones.

I'm a little afraid for the next generation because we think it's bad now but my friend's darling baby got into my phone and nearly deleted some pictures with the swipe of a finger. She's still a baby who I promise just learned to walk. What she doesn't know: my name. What she does know in addition to how to mess with phones: a few words like "uh-oh," how to use chopsticks and eat sushi. No matter that they kept falling to the floor when I was out with her and her mom at a restaurant a couple weeks ago; the girl might be a budding genius.

5. I need to move it move it.

I went running for the first time in awhile yesterday and it felt good. I'm not so much a runner but it's nice to move. Perhaps if I can get out more routinely for such active engagements I will not be like the characters below who have a lot of energy to burn.

You're welcome..





I may or may not have played this on repeat for a little while just now (while sitting on my couch..)


Happy almost May!

So many coffees: grocery store camp out

No, I didn't really camp out at the grocery store to meet people and have some new stories/coffees for you all.

What do you think, that I plan these things?

I can't help it that the grocery store is a magnet for humorous adventures. I just go there and seem to end up meeting strangers almost every time. I'm behind in documenting this so I may just lump a couple together from tonight.

There's Mike, the produce man who is always in a good mood. He performed a rap song for me about bacon (because I was buying bacon, of course), and told me tonight the secret to success is 'just give it time.' Not sure what that refers to exactly but that's not important. Most things he says are profound, even if they are short and to the point. He's not a stranger anymore, because every time he sees me he throws out a wise word or two.

Then there's Renee, who told me she has having a long day. We got into a conversation about when the store is busier and why, finding deals and seniors who shop on Thursdays because there is a discount. Since I shop at her store a lot, she encouraged me to find someone over 60 and ask them to shop with me on discount days. I told her I didn't know too many people over 60. "It doesn't matter," she said. "You can just find one off the street."

An experiment in its own right...

A few weeks ago was Shonita (98 percent sure on her name), a cashier from Target.  She had so much energy and enthusiasm. She actually pulled us --me and the most interesting coffee I've met yet -- over to look at some jewelry she got for her friends in Bible study. Lots more conversation happened, I think about Hamburger Helper, and we left realizing we had met someone very southern and very friendly, in the best possible way. I don't know why southern makes a difference anymore, since I've lived here eight years, but I think it's the southerners who have made this northern girl branch out the way she has. Carrying on conversations in line is totally normal, entertaining and can also be a learning experience here. Thank you, Shonita, for reminding me of that.

When someone shares coffee with me: airplane adventures

It's already April, and it's time to get down to business with these coffees.

I had one of those moments the other day on an airplane when I didn't think I was going to be able to pull off all my coffees by the end of this year (or was it a year from October when I made a goal with the guys on the train?). I think I have until October, but still, 87 is a lot of coffees. I picked a big number. Why didn't I pick 27 or something?

Just when I was feeling a little ambivilant toward the whole project, I sat down next to two chatty ladies. By the end of the flight, I had learned that the neighbor my left (Kelsey) was in a bad car wreck a couple weeks ago. She showed us pictures of the car. Danielle, sitting to her left, kept showing us pictures of her trip to Columbia. Go there, she said, if you ever get the chance. I also learned they BOTH love their dogs very much.

All these conversations began because of one simple question: "Are you Irish?" I saw the ring she was wearing. After I asked, Danielle piped in that she was Irish, too.

These two cured my recent bout of favoring anonymity over meeting strangers, especially on airplanes and trams and the like.

Of course, every time I come out of my shell again, I'm dazzled by the stories and all the adventures (except when traveling makes me motion sick but that's neither here nor there). And I'm sure the tales I learn keep changing me.

I wouldn't have guessed that Danielle came from a tough background, one I fight all the time in my work with my kiddoes. But that's her story to tell, not mine.

Her kindness and spirit, I don't think she'd mind me sharing with you. Because she and Kelsey made the coffee happen, hands down.

Thanks, ladies, for reminding me that this job isn't always work. Sometimes, I get to just sit back and watch the stories unfold.

Yellow Light

"And what does it feel like?" we asked.
"Well," she said, leaning over to us like a secret, "it feels like a gust of wind blowing inside your heart. It feels like bright yellow paint." - The Persistence of Yellow

 

~~~

 

I do have a book that is called The Persistence of Yellow and the entire cover is yellow (obviously). It's a collection of recipes and poems about life (don't you want a recipe about life dedicated to the color yellow? Of course. Don't worry that most of them are fairly odd. Yellow has always been doing its own thing.

I went over to sit with my friend yesterday while she painted her new house. I am a good sitter. My friends like to have me come by while they do things like clean or paint, I've noticed.

I offered her to help but she said just pull up a chair. She wanted to paint, she wanted me for the talking.

The room we were in would have been her little girl's big girl room. Yellow was her favorite color. It's mine, too.

Yellow rooms just make things better. Painting over white walls, adding color, there's beauty in that.

As I typed the word paint, just now it came out pain..

Pain is everywhere, that's fitting. There are weighty situations at work. There's often pain in my body. It's inside my heart as I think of my friend's loss.
 
But through the visit, I push against what seems dark because the room is filled with light.

I try to find the paint in my heart.

It's there in our conversation, even if spotty at times. It starts to feel natural again to laugh at stories told while the white walls get covered up.

I leave from my friend and I have to get ready for a baby shower and a four year old birthday party.
 
Death and life are so mixed together and right now I hate it. The life part of this equation creates a sadness in me, thinking of my friends enduring now this side of heaven.
 
We are here not to live isolated but to live life together. 


That's the point of recording these visits, these coffees, I remind myself. To remember that it's true.

But what of the light here, in the mourning?

The light is usually easy to find in my coffee encounters.

I love adventure, and if I was seeking one out, I'd prefer lighthearted please, with all kinds of interesting strangers and characters to bring added humor to the mix and can we save the heartbreaking stories for another day?

But if I'm writing (let's hope!) a book that's supposed to be true to life and people, that's not the whole picture.

The good news is even the hardest stories to tell, thankfully, include some yellow paint..

*one from the archives

Group of Four People...and Occassionally Other People

I haven't written on here in awhile because I keep thinking I need something big to say, a monumental moment.

I've had a lot of "coffees" lately, lots of interesting meetings. I'll be sure to get back to the business of telling grocery store and museum stories soon, but I can't forget about the people that I see on the day-to-day who make life more eventful because of the regular 'coffees' I have with them.

For example, my neighbors who don't live beside me anymore. I still call them my neighbors but instead of the luxury of living a building next to them, I frequent their new place. They are friends. A kind of family here as mine is far away.

Tomorrow, Group Two of A Group of Four People (a silly nickname that stuck) is moving back to Ohio and she'll be farther away, but her next adventures are sure to be exciting.

In fact, Group Two (far left of the first picture) was one of a handful of people I first interviewed when I was getting this book rolling last year. I wasn't sure which way I wanted to go with it, but was a bit more direct and planned back then.

I sat in the kitchen with her and had her choose a drink of her choice (she choose tea). We sat down, I asked her questions and tried to be professional. She then reminded me we already knew each other.

We never know where the journey will take us. Thankfully, it usually involves laughter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 group of 4..had to post one with group 4's awesome facial expressions.

 

 

real group of 4 picture